Negotiating emotions

Abstract

Abstract Folk wisdom suggests that a negotiator (1) should avoid getting emotional and (2) is a passive recipient of the whims of emotion. In this article, I argue that both of these notions are false and that a better pair of assumptions is that (1) emotions can positively affect our ability to reach negotiation goals and (2) we can actively negotiate which emotions are experienced and how intensely. I extend the emotional appraisal work of Lazarus (1991) and Parkinson (1995) by suggesting that we appraise situations emotionally for their personal relevance by evaluating relational identity concerns—namely autonomy and affiliation. Negotiating emotions entails negotiating these relational identity concerns and the tensions that a conflicting set of concerns can create.