Not Allowed to Love? Sri Lankan Maids in Lebanon

Abstract

Abstract This paper focuses on the numerous emotional aspects created by the presence of migrant live‐in maids inside the households of their employers, taking the case of Sri Lankan maids in Lebanon as the example. It shows how ‘emotional closeness’ is used simultaneously by both employers and maids as power and resistance strategies. For employers, the emotional connection is mostly used as a form of manipulation and control, to extract more work and loyalty for less pay. On the other hand, by developing emotional ties with members of the household (especially children), maids, too, are somehow able to defy the clear‐cut cultural and personal confines of the employer–employee relationship. This paper displays the means used by employers to control the lives (including feelings and sexuality) of their maids. Maids are not permitted to exist as women in their own right; they cannot have friends or lovers. In short, they are not allowed to love freely and are supposed to put their private lives on hold for the entire duration of their contract – while caring for their employers.