Relationality and moral reasoning in accounts of fathering after separation or divorce: care, gender and working at ‘fairness’

Abstract

Based on a qualitative, sociological study, this article presents fathering after divorce as a complex moral and relational process; a navigation of post-separation family life shaped by gendered patterns of caring for children. New contexts of fathering can bring transformative experiences of care, but fathers also encounter the ‘pull’ of a gendered model of parenting, which normalises different levels of caring responsibility without disrupting a sense of the equal moral status of fathers and mothers. The article highlights two central themes: fathering as ‘relational work’ and moral reasoning within fathering practices and identity. The idea of ‘fairness’ as part of capturing processes involved in fathers’ efforts to sustain relationships and caring arrangements that are ‘bearable’ is then discussed. The article argues for a gender-sensitive approach to understanding parenting after separation, which fully appreciates the deeply felt, embodied nature of fathering and mothering, and acknowledges their relational and moral dimensions.