The self-fulfilling nature of positive illusions in romantic relationships: Love is not blind, but prescient.

Abstract

It is proposed that satisfying, stable relationships reflect intimates ' ability to see imperfect partners in idealized ways. In this study of the long-term benefits (or possible costs) of positive illusions, both members of dating couples completed measures of idealization and well-being 3 times in a year. Path analyses revealed that idealization had a variety of self-fulfilling effects. Relationships were most likely to persist--even in the face of conflicts and doubts--when i timates idealized one another the most. Intimates who idealized one another more initially also reported relatively greater increases in satisfaction and decreases inconflicts and doubts over the year. Finally, individuals even came to share their partners ' idealized images of them. In summary, intimates who idealized one another appeared more prescient than blind, actually creating the relationships they wished for as romances progressed. Love to faults is a lways bl ind, Always is to joy inclin'd, Lawless, wing'd, and unconfin'd, And breaks all chains from every mind.--William Blake, Poems (1791-1792)from Blake's Notebook Reality or parody? In many ways, Blake's musings depict he romantic ideal. Swept up in the experience of love, trusting, sat-isfied individuals embellish their partners ' virtues, while chari-tably, perhaps ensibly, turning a blind eye to their faults (e.g., Murray & Holmes, 1993, 1994). Setting Blake's ideal aside, most psychologists believe that lasting satisfaction depends on individuals understanding their partners ' real strengths and