Relating at a distance: Negotiating being together and being apart in long-distance relationships

TLDR

Partners in various relational types transition between being together and apart, but these transitions are far from seamless in long‑distance relationships (LDRs). The study uses a relational dialectics framework to examine long‑distance romantic relationships and explore how partners negotiate contradictions between togetherness and separation, with implications for the field. Twenty heterosexual couples participated in audio‑taped couple interviews where they answered questions about the mutual influence of togetherness and separation. Across all 20 couples, the states of being together and apart mutually enable and constrain each other in many ways.

Abstract

Partners in various relational types transition between being together and apart, but these transitions are far from seamless in long-distance relationships (LDRs). In this study, a relational dialectics framework was used to examine long-distance romantic relationships (LDRRs) and explore the contradiction(s) experienced by LDRR partners as they negotiate between togetherness and separation. Twenty heterosexual couples participated in audio-taped ‘couple interviews’ in which they answered a series of questions about the mutual influence of togetherness and separation in their relationships. Results showed that across all 20 couples the interaction states of being together and being apart mutually enable and constrain one another in many ways. Implications for the study of long-distance relating using a relational dialectics approach are presented.