“She chose us to be your parents”

Abstract

Guided by narrative theorizing, the current study investigated the content and process of telling adoption entrance narratives (AENs)—or the story of how the child was born, placed for adoption, and integrated into their family—in open adoptive families. Thematic analysis of 165 adoptive parents’ (mostly mothers) AENs revealed six emergent themes: birth parents as family, chosen parents, forever, rescue, fate, and adoption makes us family. Structural equation modeling demonstrated that adoptive mothers’ relational satisfaction with the birth parent relates to birth parent storytelling which in turn relates to adoptee–birth parent relational closeness. Findings illuminate the ways adoptive mothers incorporate birth parents into their conceptualization of family in light of cultural assumptions of “family” and become gatekeepers of family relationships.