Is Apology Worth the Risk? Predictors, Outcomes, and Ways to Avoid Regret

Abstract

Why do people choose to apologize or withhold apology, and what are the consequences of these decisions? We addressed these questions in two within–participants studies of undergraduates. Participants consistently reported more regret about non-apology than apology. Regrets about apology were linked with mutual grudges, protests of innocence, unsafe relationships, and apologies seen as insincere, premature, or fear–based. Regrets about non-apology were linked with persistent remorse, self–punishing attitudes, and seeing the offended party as innocent of wrongdoing. Theoretical and clinical implications are discussed.