Experiences of Falling in Love

Abstract

Accounts of falling in love were obtained from three samples: (a) lengthy accounts from fifty undergraduates who had fallen in love in the last 8 months; (b) brief accounts from 100 adult nonstudents, which were compared to 100 brief falling-in-friendship accounts from the same population; and (c) questionnaire responses about falling-in-love experiences from 277 undergraduates, which were compared to falling-in-friendship-experience questionnaires from eighty-three similar undergraduates. Content analyses of Study 1 and 2 accounts and Study 3 questionnaire results suggested that falling in love was preceded by frequent reported incidences of discovering other's liked the self and noticing other's desirable characteristics (appearance and personality); moderate incidences of perceived similarity, propinquity and `special falling-in-love processes' (readiness, specific cues, arousal/unusualness, mystery, isolation); and relatively low reported incidences of filling needs and social influence. These patterns contrast with those suggested by the general-attraction and mate-selection literatures. Falling-in-friendship accounts, on the other hand, gave relatively more emphasis to similarity and propinquity, but somewhat less to reciprocal liking, other's desirable characteristics, needs, and the special falling-in-love processes.