Cultures of Intimacy and Care beyond ‘the Family’: Personal Life and Social Change in the Early 21st Century

TLDR

In an era of increasing individualization, intimacy and care are increasingly occurring outside the traditional family, among non‑cohabiting partners and friend networks. The authors argue that sociologists must decentre the family and heterosexual couple in their imaginaries and extend analytical frameworks to study the cultures of intimacy and care among those at the forefront of social change. They critique family and gender sociology for their heteronormative assumptions and draw on their own research of adults not living with a partner to illustrate these critiques. Case studies reveal that contemporary cultures of intimacy and care among this group are defined by centring friendship and decentring sexual relationships.

Abstract

The authors argue that if sociologists are to understand the current state, and likely future, of intimacy and care, we should decentre the ‘family’ and the heterosexual couple in our intellectual imaginaries. In the context of processes of individualization much that matters to people in terms of intimacy and care increasingly takes place beyond the ‘family’, between partners who are not living together ‘as family’, and within networks of friends. The first section of the article provides a critique of family sociology and the sociology of gender for the heteronormative frameworks within which they operate. It proposes an extension of the framework within which contemporary transformations in the realm of intimacy are to be analysed, and it suggests that there is a need for research focusing on the cultures of intimacy and care inhabited by those living at the cutting edge of social change. In the second part of the article, the authors draw upon their own research on the most ‘individualized’ sector of the population – adults who are not living with a partner. They explore contemporary cultures of intimacy and care among this group through a number of case studies, and argue that two interrelated processes characterize these cultures: centring on friendship, and decentring sexual relationships.