Daily experiences of intimacy: A study of couples

TLDR

Intimacy is conceptualized as daily interactions perceived as intimate, reflecting a fundamental human drive to overcome separateness. The study aimed to determine whether working definitions of intimacy are reflected in specific interaction characteristics that prompt partners to label interactions as intimate. The authors surveyed 113 cohabiting couples who completed questionnaires and kept diaries of their interactions over one week. Intimate interactions were best predicted by pleasantness, private disclosure, positive affect, perceived understanding, and emotional disclosure; higher relationship satisfaction amplified these links, and couple-level factors outweighed individual traits in predicting intimacy.

Abstract

Abstract The present study examined people's working definitions of intimacy , which emerge through daily interactions that are perceived as intimate by the participant. We proposed that working definitions should be reflected in a set of interaction characteristics that prompt relationship partners to label their interaction as intimate. Participants were 113 cohabiting couples who completed questionnaires and kept diaries of their interactions for 1 week. Interaction characteristics explaining perceived intimacy were interaction pleasantness, disclosure of private information, the expression of positive feelings, the perception of being understood by one's partner, and the disclosure of emotion. Further, more satisfied couples perceived their interactions as more intimate and showed stronger associations between interaction intimacy and partner disclosure than did less satisfied couples. Findings indicated that couple characteristics are more salient than person characteristics as predictors of intimacy in interactions. The deepest need of man, then, is the need to overcome his separate‐ness, to leave the prison of his aloneness. The absolute failure to achieve this aim means insanity, because the panic of complete isolation can be overcome only by such a radical withdrawal from the world outside that the feeling of separation disappears–because the world outside, from which one is separated, has disappeared.