How Personal Control Mediates Suffering: Elderly Husbands' Narratives of Caregiving

Abstract

This article is based on ethnographic research that explored experiences of suffering in late life. From a group of 60 oldest-old (age 80 and above) male participants, four were primary, at-home caregivers for wives with dementia. Men's narratives showed the inter-relation between masculinities, a sense of personal control, and experiences of suffering within caregiving. Three thematic “tools” of control emerged as strategies men used to mediate their suffering: 1) the power of the little; 2) preserving self-identity and marriage-identity and, 3) finding purpose in the role of caregiver. We offer insight into the world of the oldest-old male caregiver through men's accounts of suffering, their daily tasks, thoughts about themselves as caregivers, and the manner in which they embody their masculinity in caregiving.