Payback: The parameters of revenge in romantic relationships

Abstract

This investigation explored the provocations that spark intimates’ desires for revenge, the kinds of vengeful responses they enact, and the motives that underlie decisions to retaliate. Eighty-five undergraduates were interviewed about incidents in which they “got even” with a current or former romantic partner. Both provocations and revenge responses predominately involved relationship rules violations, and most revenge responses were mild to moderate in severity and mundane in nature. In addition, most participants attributed their decisions to retaliate to the desire to bring about desired change in their partners (e.g., suffering, correction, or empathy), to redress their own unpleasant feelings, or to rectify injustice. Implications for research on revenge in romantic relationships are discussed.