When in Doubt, Reach Out

Abstract

Social support is critical to personal and relational well-being. Yet, receiving support appears to be contingent upon adequately conveying need to a receptive partner who both understands and is willing to provide said support. Or is it? We provide the first evidence of a covert haptic support system between adult intimates, showing that literally reaching out to a loved one can result in feeling supported even when the receiver of haptic support requests does not perceive them as bids for comfort. We tested this by unobtrusively observing support interactions between dating partners. As expected, those experiencing distress were more likely to seek touch from their partners, which elicited responsive touch—even though receivers failed to discern need from support-seekers’ touch. Importantly, those who received responsive touch from their romantic partners felt more supported. Because touch begets touch, clear communication between intimates is not always necessary for successful support interactions.